the children...

i was talking with my host mother a few nights ago and i found out that the three youngest boys in our home (Isaac,6; Emmanuel aka: Emma, 4; Jackson aka: Jack, 2 1/2. their father is the brother of out host father) will be returning to their parents home next week. they have been staying with our family while their parents, who are both finishing their college education, are on school holiday. edith (our host mother) said that she doesnt want to send them back because their mother doesnt care for them. she said that whenever they come to stay at our house they are weak and dull. their mother doesnt feed them properly so they are often undernourished when they arrive at our house. isaac is a bit better off because he is old enough to be in school so he gets at least one full meal each day and gets to be active like a 6 year old should be. jack on the other hand has suffered side effects of neglect. he is small for his age (only a little bigger than his one year old cousin) and has not yet started talking. edith says that his mother often leaves him with an old woman all day....he has to sit all day having no physical activity or social interaction from which he could learn to speak. the poor nutrition has not only affected his growth but his belly is distended as well from lack of protein. a while ago when edith went to pick the children up from the home their mother had left them at she found that, as a result of being left in bed for a number of days, jacks legs had bowed in. having experience in the childrens ward at a hospital, she took him home with her and did physical therapy of a sort to straighten his legs out and taught him how to walk. ive noticed that all three children eat excessively, probably in response to their not being fed well at home. when i asked if the children ever want to go home she said that isaac always says that he just wants her to let him see his parents but he doesnt want to go home with them.
i almost started crying while she was talking. i looked at emma who was sitting next to me, covered in rice and ground nut sauce, thoroughly enjoying his large meal. i didnt want to let them go. ive already fallen in love with all three of them individually...isaac and his gentle spirit and timid curiosity, emma and his endless joy and constant singing, and jack with his continuous energy and tender affection. i wish i could just take them home with me. i cant even articulate yet exactly how it made me feel. i love those precious children it is so unjust that they are treated as almost less than human.
in addition to breaking my heart, ediths words made me realize something else...coming from a different culture it is easy to judge that which we have no idea about. this whole time ive been wondering why isaac has to do house work all the time and why they wont just let him be a kid...but what i didnt realize is that they are purposefully providing him with the physical activity that he lacks at home. and ive been critical of how nutritious the food we eat is for growing children. bu t once again, this was a misguided critique. i didnt realize that what i considered to be inadequate nutrition is actually, by ugandan standards, a balanced diet. our family does the very best they can to provide a 'balanced' diet...while it still consists mostly of carbs and starch they try hard to incorparate meat, vegetables and fruit whenever possible. the more i learn the more i realize how little i actually know.