protect the girl child

so im leaving for my rural homestay today and ill be gone for ten days...figured you all might want something to read between now and then since i wont have internet access during that time and wont be able to post anything.

the other day one of the USP girls was with her host sister and saw a sign that said "protect the girl child". she asked her sister what it meant and her sister proceeded to explain: apparently it is common thought here in africa that girls have difficulty with self control and self governance. they are therefore prone to 'forgetting' that they are supposed to remain chaste and will use their sexuality to seduce men in order to manipulate them and get what they want. thus, they must have people in their lives to protect them and to remind them of remaining chatste. i think that this hints that the burden of stopping sexually transmitted diseases is largely placed on women and their learning to control their promiscuity. of course coming from america i, and the other USP students, find this kind of thought outrageous. i am by no means a feminist but i do not believe that women are in any way inferior to men, especially not intellectually.

however, i am encouraged that my host family goes against the grain in regards to this common thought. my host father said that he made a decision when he was very young that he would never abuse his wife. he and edith seem to have a very healthy relationship (although marriage relationships do not look the way they do in the states). ive asked my siblings and cousins if this is true and they confirmed it saying that julius and edith are happily married (it seems rare that the women is content in the relationship). i have great respect for julius because he advocates for women in the community. his family is very progressive in this respect...both of his daughters are just as educated as his sons. he believes that women deserve respect and that they should respect themselves and learn to think for themselves. he feels that education is an important part of this process. educated women are much more independent and have high self esteem...and their status within the community goes up if they are educated. his niece claire was telling me that, as the head master of mukon high school, he strongly supports the girls. he encourages them to respect themselves by dressing modestly and will not tolerate boys "disturbing" girls. his daughters and nieces have clearly benefited from this attitude. judie (my sister), alice (the oldest sister in our family) and stella (my cousin who stays at our house most of the time) are some of the most confident ugandan women i have met. they have goals and dreams of their own and know how to speak their mind. claire told me that she will not marry someone who does not respect her. education of women decreases birth rates by delaying marriage and making women aware of family planning (ie: if you dont have the money to support 7 children....you shouldnt have 7 children!).

my brother brian (he is the oldest son in our family...about 20...very well educated and very much like his father) said that it is not enough to only educate women...men must be educated as well. they must be raised to believe that their women are valuable and deserving of respect. he told me that just because a woman is educated and does not want to have a lot of children, she does not have the authority to make that decision on her own...her husband will make it for her.

i hope that the the influence of men like julius and brian will encourage other men in the community to change their way of thinking. meanwhile, i am glad that there are men like them that will join with the women of uganda as they strive for equality in their communities.