derek washington

yesterday i met a man named derek washinton. he was invited by our missions professor to speak to our class about the ministry he is involved in. he works for an organization called barnabas international that provides care for missionaries in the field. employees fly around the world to provide couseling and pastoral care to missionary families who have undergone severe crises while in the field or to families that are floundering and on the edge of falling apart due to the difficulties of missionary life. they also try to stop fires before they start by educating missionaries on how to deal with the stresses they encounter. their ministry is crucial because the strains of missionary life often take disastrous tolls on marriages and on the family unit as well as on people individually.

for those of you who go to crossroads and have been to arkansas you will know brother pauls friend allan childress...well derek reminded me of him. a very simple man but with an incredible insight into the heart of God who uses his music, simple songs, to commune with God and to give others a glimpse into His heart. for some reason when he was talking i was reminded of my passion for missions work. recently ive been doubting and questioning everything...questioning Christianity and my faith and God...so needless to say, all that made me question my calling and my 'heart' for missions. ive been wondering if maybe thats not what im supposed to pursue. but when derek was talking, something in me was revived and the burdern on my heart for missions was restored. he doesnt have a doctorate or a masters in divinity but his theology had more of an impact on me than any logical, historical/critical model of theology has. after class a few of us invited him to the canteen on campus to have smoothies. as we talked he said something about falling in love with God. i laughed and said "what does that MEAN!!!!!" and he said "let me play a song for you". like i said...just a simple song that he wrote (called the maker and the clay) but it captured the meaning of that phrase perfectly. this song made more sense to me than anything ive heard in a long time. this was the first time in about a year or more that anything related to God or Christianity has brought me to tears

Maker with His hands in clay
clay upon the wheel
maker breathing love inside
clay becoming real

love was flowing into clay
understanding too
a will to choose, a heart to lose
Maker gave His heart away

Chorus:
His gift of lovve was in his eyes
there's nothing He would not sacrifice
there was nothing He would not give
so that His love might live
nothing in this world would He withhold

freedom flowing into clay
the freedom now to choose
as Maker woos the clay He made
how will His lover choose?

life was flowing into clay
desire flowing too
but lovers played and choices made
broke Maker's heart in two

in the midst of Maker's sorrow
leaving all His pride behind
He took Him the feet of clay
His lover He would find

so taking on love's mantle
He washed her feet of clay
laying down His life for her
He gave His life away

clay's heart was melting
she saw what He had done
Maker had died for her
though now her heart He'd won

how could she tell Him
now her heart He'd saved
how could she know that he would
rise up from the grave

Maker with His heat in clay
clay was now made new
the price he paid, her heart to save
His love for her He proved

taking joy in Maker's love
now His pleasure her desire
clay's virtue found, he sond would sound
he passion now a fire

His gift of love was in her eyes
there is nothing she would not sacrifice
there's nothing she would not give
so that His love might live
nothing in this world would she withhold


I've been praying...i would like to say fervently but its really been more like weak and half hearted...that God would show up. that He would not let all this questioning be in vain. that i would find Him somewhere. and i would like to believe that He did yesterday. it gave me a reason to continue seeking Him. derek gave us a cd with his music and a cd that he hasnt totally finished yet...he just records it and then gives it away for free to be a blessing to others. its mostly meant for missionaries as an encouragement...but since ive always had a passion for missions and will probly end up working as one in not too many years and so kind of lump myself into that catagory, the words of his songs spoke powerfully to me. he also video taped each of us...he asked us to introduce ourselves and tell about our majors and our plans for the future what we would like him and his family to pray for. he takes his video camera everywhere and then shows the videos to his family when he goes back home. i was really blunt and just said that ive always felt called to be a missionary but have been questioning that recently because right now i dont know who God is, where He is, what He sounds like, how He speaks or how to find him....but i believe that God is to be found when we seek Him and that this season in my life will serve to strengthen my faith whenever i finally come out of it...please pray. i could see on his face that it pained him to hear how frustrated and empty i felt. for some reason that in itself was some encouragement. i would like to believe that him happening to come from wisconson to uganda for a conference and happening to meet my professor and happening to come speak to our class was not just coincidence...that in some way it was God answering my prayers. i would like to believe that it was God speaking to me yesterday. i want to...and will...call it a blessing. there was so much more that i experienced yesterday but this is long enough already. i just thought id include this in a blog since i havent been writing much lately...ive just felt so empty and apathetic lately that i havent had anything to write...so since this stirred something in me i thought id write it. i cant even explain how encouraging all that was. thanks God :)